Loving, kindness and compassion are the basis of wise, powerful, sometimes gentle, and sometimes fierce actions that can really make a difference – in our own lives and those of others. – Sharon Salzberg
#Love, #kindness and #compassion. The last 72 hours was like #hatred, #anger and #cold. One of many reason is to work in the city to be safe and manageable in both financial and physical health aspects to enroll to night classes and god’s knows I really need it badly. #Learning is core in my #passion, as to #teaching is my job. #Education itself is #beautiful. As human, #happiness and conditions affect what you do, think and feel. I’m sure there are far worst terrible things that other human faces compare to me. However, it is my utmost dreams since 19 years old to #dream to be smart, #educated to make #Brunei education stronger and #effective like those lecturers I met in my years in #UBD. My dream is to be like them. What separate me from doing what they do is my qualifications. Soon, I’ll be 29. And I know, I won’t be able to achieve that dream as age of 35 is the limit age to get Phd scholarship. Having no bachelor degree and a master degree it is a chase that I have to anticipate losing. With that mental state and the lost i have to walk through; i hope others will respect my sadness, depression and rudeness during this time. It was designed far before I was born and it is my fate. Many new obstacles yet to face, going through like ordinary people. #notbornich#notbornintelligent #justordinary
A dream of 21st Century teaching space in Brunei. I know I can work well with it and deliver 21st Century Teaching and Learning.
Costs: About 60-80 thousands Brunei dollars.
Objective: Effective Teaching English language and Science and 21st Century Skills
Mission: Saving the future of Brunei.
Ahh.. How the brain keep telling me about the day and time, and how long it has been counting. 9 years long and still counting. I hope 2017 will come any sooner.. I hope that year, my long exhausted dream will eventually come true. Sacrifice the money, be a money poor for many years just to acquire a dream, an education and a life experience.
Most friends, are married and some are raising kids already. I’m still here; still raising myself – finding myself – my own kind of fulfilling life’s adventure. Some kind of bucket list to do and achieve before death. Yes, life, it doesn’t have to be the same as the rest of the people. But why does people’s time and the cycle of life expectation must be the same?
Pre-service scholarships rejected me; then in-service application don’t want me either. God’s knows, how I really want that experience; so that I can move on. Don’t judge me, nor I want you to understand me. But it is some kind of my psychology needs.
IF only I have a lot of money; accompanied with many other things – then this life will be much simpler. Others would say, life would be dull if it were too easy. But I would say, “I have already faced too many dramas and too many tragedies.. I would rather live the dull moment than the hardships and the lingers”.
While being good in variety of things in this life, I’m also good at visiting overseas universities’ websites. Looking at their bachelor programme in the area of education.
After being pleased with their offered programme tittle, I read through their overview statement of programme; its course structures; teaching methods and resources; students experience and sometimes if I have spare time, I visit the global universities ranking; simply to see where they are on the list. And not to forget I also checked the entry and language requirements of the programme.
Emotionally the hard part of reading began when I click on international fees and finance section. With the digital spreadsheet (MS Excel) that I have created, the smart spreadsheet will automatically calculate the amount of education loan plus the Bank’s interest and proceeded to show the monthly repayment.
And yes, it always showed the same sentiment. Expensive and I can’t afford. it.
I’m really good at it because, I’ve been doing this stuff since 2005. Sometime, this painful relationship becomes your ecstasy.
I’m not having a psychosis experience. I’m just full with hope and big dream. Its like a mission and vision in this life. But its getting blurry. I’m not sure where fate taking me, but it is getting distant.
Everything have been prayed. I’ve watched people succeed everything they do. They are happy like a shining stars. I wish I could be like them too. Not to forget, they also have a nice car to drive too.
Money is a catalyst in life. If you have it in surplus, you will probably afford reaching your destination well.
My recent application for the in-service last year was horrible. After so many hours spend to complete the application form, it ended with a smack on the table by the furious Head of Unit. Life is such a struggle. Sometime it is completely sad. And yes, it ended also by not getting the in-service scholarship.
But they haven’t got clue how much I need it.
I’m tired of leaders saying I can’t do this and say this, because I don’t have a degree or master and big salary to be qualified to suggest a good or alternative strategies to improve. I’m sure that’s their ego speaking. But I still agree upon what Dr Ho Boon Tiong from ClassPoint Consulting (Singapore), who once advised to the ego leader recently, and I quote “We are not god, we don’t know everything. If you know everything, then you must be god. He/she may know something that you don’t know. A humble processor is a real professor.”
Cool kids, I don’t envy you. Rich kids, I envy you.