How does it feel to finish my Undergraduate? Honestly, 2020 has making life less deterministic. Covid-19 really killed certain plans. Many plans to be precise; and the most heartbreaking is when we (classmates) sadly can’t accomplish our Global Classroom in Kuala Malaysia because (drum roll) Covid. I’m not sure when will I be able to get over it. Studying overseas is like a dream since 16, and here I am being 30+. So, Covid-19, I’ll remember you. I have not received my final semester’s results yet, but I hope it will bring me to smile.

I still remembered being in April, last millennium that I was shocked, mad and sad in the same time. I did not get peace until I was saved in such a way to be able to move out from the dark. Felt betrayed, as imperfect I was in that year, I still manage to hit the right things and delivered all the tasks given. Applied Singapore’s teach less and learn more through direct, precise and provide innovative learning experiences opportunity; stabilise and managed data, record and reported data and managed events like programs and PDs. If only the outsiders could see what happened the later year and those who seated but still received thumbs up. Being responsible; I prioritised work even when I have another life being a night student. Still can’t believe it, while others and lies still be trusted than a genuine honest despair cry. Nepotism and cronyism is a scary thing. I won’t forget nor forgive as tears already dropped and dried. By the end of the year, I was not the only one who was lucky enough to leave the premises. Felt sorry to those who also wish not to stay but fall short on valid reasons to transfer. Still I felt being wrongful, so I leave it for the judgement day to be fair. Not my lost, theirs. What I got was sadness, depression and really weaken my night study and results. Thank you very much for the hardship, I pray them in return. Touché. Pretentious, unworthiness will someday doom the organisation in a long run. People’s respect, fairness and happiness are few things should not be taken lightly by leaders in any levels.

April today is different. I feel matured and careful. It feels very different as oppose to be teaching. I’m learning a lot. I want to do my best, then again there’s still a lot to learn. I’m a fast learner (in some areas) but truthfully my ego fallen a bit. I’m thankful and I really don’t want to disappoint too. So, I’ll always try my very best for the given tasks. Wait the minute, I’ve been always doing my very best in my years of working. I always care and delivered. Having said that, I still want to be better. Thinking to pursue getting the Officer position. Hey, I’m not begging for the reason to get a higher salary to buy more kpop kdrama merchandises; but I really want to be qualified to take the public service’s General Orders and Financial Regulation. I genuinely feel in my current position, it is important, appropriate to acquire the knowledge. Administration and management can be very interesting.

Apart from that ambition, I want to further my education. Just to continue the possibility to become an academic in a local or overseas university. I’m still surveying and researching which overseas university that can give me the sense of pleasure. I need to get back to my education root and concrete it. To devote in the area of Education; to improve it and help people, teachers and students more is still the goal. If money wasn’t an issue, would love to be in Singapore to study (waving at NIE). However, being in Malaysia will give me a sense of comfort more. If end up studying in Seoul, well that will be crazy and awesome!! Now, where can I get 50-60K worth of money to make it happen.

보고싶다 (bogoshipda). Mean “I want to see.” Another way to say “I miss you” is 보고싶어 (bogoshipuh).

I want to travel far; but I usually end up with a no. I know I can only afford once.

Not because I don’t want too, but because I can’t afford it and I’m afraid the feeling of missing it, after I left will prevail.

No matter how I think of snow, I usually end up in a tropical rainforest climate. Hence, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore is very familiar. It’s okay. KL for the foods and shopping. Singapore for the mindset. Still, I love the cold.

I used to be obsessed with United Kingdom’s universities. Dreamt and prayed about it. Due to Edinburg and Oxford’s sentiment about Brunei and the person we love; I feel worried about how they will view me as a Bruneian. Thus, I have to miss it less and find another cold weather and snow to where will care less of from where I am. I would love to study in Singapore (even though there’s no snow), but I know it is costly and my qualification won’t get accredited there. If I could be random at heart, I would love to study in South Korea, near to Seoul. I don’t mind experiencing teaching in Korea too. I need a Korean family, so please adopt me.

I miss Japan, again my wallet is against it. However, going to South Korea is a must; in hope for a long vacation there. Random and recently, I also have the urge to visit Taiwan. Due to that, I end up watching a Taiwanese drama series. Perhaps 2020 is the year I stepped my foot to Seoul.

In the end, I’m going to miss where I have been (far). Bogoshipuh

If there’s such thing called “in another life” like Katy Perry’s song, I would know how to play several music instruments, and most importantly I would compose many music and lyrics.

A lyricist and a song writer.

Rest

How much I wish to continue the exciting journey with Microsoft Education Network (Program); this year I decided to rest. I did not submitted my “renewal” for the program; and that’s just wicked!

There’s a lot of things going on with this life, and this was unexpected.

Since day 1, I never thought that I will be partnered with Microsoft for so many years; and for sure this decision was not taken lightly as well. The real reason why I did not submit it, was, I’m really fatigue.. Fatigue to even login to the portal and fill in the required information.

If only I have the necessary motivation and support by the relevant people, within close proximity and the ministry itself, I might push myself harder. For so many years, I always felt alone. Lone ranger they said. My vision is what CHM School currently have; but sadly the knowledge and experience I have given by Microsoft and educators all over the world was only for me to keep and practice.

Honestly, I’m not doing well with work too. Double roles is not easy. Being a teacher in the morning and being a student at night; while you force yourself to sleep in the afternoon – while some days you can’t fall asleep at that hours. I’m sadly 30% in school; I can’t arrives to school early too. It’s just too hard to wake. Should I whine to others about this? Should I ask the close proximity to pity me and give me less work? What will you do if you were me? Everyone is busy with their lives too.

While I’m no a MIEE for 2018-2019, that doesn’t mean I’m no longer a Microsoft Educator. I will always be a Microsoft Educator – I pledge and will always use Microsoft Education tools as my no.1 partner in Teaching and always making it as my student partners in their learning too.

For now, excuse me while I be a little bit selfish to achieve my dream. There’s plenty had been scarified and I’m sure there’s more to come. Will definitely be a better educator once this night classes comes to end.

“I really don’t know what I want to do with my future?” I literally said that during our random talk in one of my night class discussion. My lecturer thinks it would be suitable for me to do ICT consultancy. Well, ICT consultancy is something that have crossed my mind recently too.

While most of my friends have figured out what they want to be, and settled with both their career and family, I’m still figuring out many things.

I like being a teacher, but somehow, I find myself bouncing back to the needs to wish to work somewhere else. I’m sure I don’t want to teach in primary school forever. I’ve also experienced working in the office for few months, and I’m not feeling it either. I do want to teach at higher education; but will it give me a sense of endless contentment?

I’ve thought about it for many years and it has been something that I would be able to do. I would like to work in an orphanage. I have this inkling since my teen era. However, I do wish to volunteer it or work it outside this country. It feels like Vietnam and South Korea is the best place to start.

I’ve read a lot about orphanage, but I never get to express it. I do have few books on orphanage, the stories are touching and moving. Thus, I would like to manage orphanage and hopefully do great. I vision to create an holistic approach of it, learning to sustain life independently with discipline and value; educating children with enough resources and progression toward happy life like many other children. In summary, I like the idea to care of them, but in the same time I wish to educate them – Oh yes, I do know how to teach 🙂 .

I read few institutions if not many in South Korea treat orphan insitituion as business centre. I do not know if this is true, but I’m sure they have reasons for it too. It may be done to cover the operational cost and expenses of running the institution. In the end, I do hope the goals and reasons is the for the best interest for the kids.

This dream is not for tomorrow nor in a year or two. I’ll try to make it happen someday. Personally, helping out, caring for the needs are so fulfilling. It would be awesome to earn money while doing the things you love to do. I want to do it full-time not seasonal work.